Introduction
Please try this experiment right now: Google “how to reduce stress” and notice that about half the entries are essays of the form, “Top [number] Stress-Relieving Techniques” It may seem like our society has a lot of resources available for those who are stressed out, but upon closer inspection, you will find that the majority of them are rather superficial. A typical list entry might read:
Don’t take yourself too seriously; instead, learn to find the humor in your circumstances and feel the tension melt away.”
I don’t want to be rude, but whoever came up with this advice has never had to deal with a demanding boss who threatened to fire her if she refused to have relations with him. There is simply no humorous way to look at that. Therefore, I’d like to share my top five list. However, each recommendation is supported by credible research from the field of cognitive psychology. There are going to be harder to achieve on your own, but they will work.
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Identify Your Stressors
Even though it might seem like everything in your life is making you stressed, the majority of your stress actually comes from just a few things—possibly five or six—and once you deal with those stressors, the rest of your stress will start to become manageable. Keeping a stress journal (you can learn more about stress journals here) is the best way I know to pinpoint your true stressors. As you keep a journal of your stressful experiences, you’ll begin to notice a pattern regarding when your stress levels rise and what transpires during stressful times. Those are the stressors you should concentrate on first, because you’ll get much more relief for your effort.
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Start Taking Control
Stress happens when you’re under pressure or in pain and you feel helpless. Last but not least, if you feel in control, you won’t feel stressed, even if you’re scared or angry. Therefore, your stress will start to decrease if you can even slightly start taking control of your circumstances. Try to take charge of a smaller issue if there is nothing you can do about the major issue you are facing (such as a layoff). You’ll start to feel a little less stressed, even if you only tidy up your desk or decide not to bring work home.
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Build a Support Network
Numerous studies have demonstrated that those with strong social connections and reliable people in their lives fare better under stress than those who try to handle things on their own. So make sure you have at least one person you can call whenever and who will just listen to your side of the story. He or she only needs to listen empathetically; they don’t even need to agree with you or try to fix anything. (But don’t use this as a bitching session – when you talk with your support person, just describe what really happened and how you’re feeling: save the revenge fantasies for later.)
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Eat Well and Exercise
You need to take extra care of yourself when you’re stressed out because ongoing stress will harm your health in many ways. However, make sure you’re eating a balanced diet and at regular times. Stress may cause you to eat more or less than you normally would. If you can, make eating a stress-free time in your day and try to do so with friends and family. Try to get some exercise as soon as you can after the stressful event because even moderate exercise can help your body get rid of stress hormones. You don’t even need to go to the gym—even a quick five-minute stroll will help your body get back to rest mode.
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Take Care of Your Mental Health
Telling you to “just ignore the stress” would be stupid advice, because it’s a fact of your life. Thoughts that are anxious and stressful will have less of an impact on you if you can replace them with calming, enjoyable ones. Don’t fight your anxiety when it arises because of the impending layoff. Think about your family, your most recent vacation, your upcoming round of golf, or anything else you value at the same time. The more positive thoughts you have, the less power the negative ones have over you, and the faster you will recover from your anxiety.
Here are five methods you can employ to successfully manage the stress in your job and personal life. I know that none of these is easy – they require effort and persistence – but they’re a lot more effective than advice like “learn to laugh at yourself.”
Consider stress seriously and exert ferocious resistance.
